I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
