it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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