I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
