Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
