Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
