we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
