he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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