I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
