if you like me you must not know who I am
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
