He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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