Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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