At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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