Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
