Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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