She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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