Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
