he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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