just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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