my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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