did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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