now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
