it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Welp...herpes.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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