mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
