Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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