I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
