If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
