I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
