You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
