i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
