so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
