I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
