they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
