I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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