I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
