Barsexuality is the new black.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Come see our sink grown plant.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
