Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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