ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Even my vagina gasped.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
the raccoons are back...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
