Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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