Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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