I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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