Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
