Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
