the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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