sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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