I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
