I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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