I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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