i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
