Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We had sex on a dog bed..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
