She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
