How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
